Life after diagnosis. What do you miss the most? Let’s face it … life is different after a fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, arthritis, cancer, and chronic illness diagnosis. For some, the changes are like hitting a brick wall doing 95 mph on the Autobahn. For others, it’s more like a slow creep of pain, fatigue, and just plain not feeling well. The result is that things aren’t as they were. What do you miss?
I want to generate a supportive conversation here. We all miss different aspects of our former lives. I don’t want to stir up anxiety or frustration about what we can never have again (because I don’t believe in “never” for such things). But what I do want is to share are the unexpected shifts in your expectations. Things you didn’t realize you’d miss until you no longer could do them or participate.
I want to be clear on this point: We are still WHO we were before getting sick. But, we may not be able to do everything we once did.
WHO we are
is not what we do.
I’ve shared this before, but it may surprise you to learn that the one thing I truly miss is the ability to wear cute shoes. I used to wear high heels every day (and I mean every day). I wore them to work, to church, to the store and even for a fun day at Disneyland.
I never thought about carrying diaper bags, books, over-sized purses, groceries and more. It was 2nd nature to wear heels and I loved scouring through the super sale racks at shoe stores for my size. With small feet, finding a good fit was quite a feat!
Before I understood my diagnosis, I tried everything to rid my body of pain and muscle spasms including mattresses, pillows, wraps, gels, (of course, pills), and lower-heeled shoes.
Even though – for the most part – I’ve been able to rid my body of the pain, I still occasionally deal with leg cramps and spasms. If I sear heels at all, it’s a “guaranteed” thing that I’ll be up all night with cramps. It’s simply not worth the price.
Wearing tennis shoes and other flats works fine most of the time, but when dressing up, it’s frustrating to not be able to wear a great pair of darling shoes. I miss that part of putting together an outfit. (No these candy-striped cuties aren’t mine. —>)
And, because I’m short – okay, I’m very short – wearing flat shoes with a dress just makes me look as if I’m standing in a hole.
Have I gotten rid of all of my darling shoes?
Well, most of them … all but a few special pairs. Remember that I don’t believe in “never.” I still plan on being able to wear them sans cramps one day. And, I’m doing all I can to make that happen.
So, that’s my share on “what I miss most.” What about you?
Please jump into the comments below and let this community know what you miss most after your diagnosis?