Is your fibromyalgia body covered with bruises? Are your bruises more than just external? You may be surprised to discover the impact of words on your pain and chronic illness. And, perhaps shocked at where those words originate.
What are the meanest words you’ve ever heard?
I’ve had clients report these insults below. Sound a little familiar?
Bruises and Your Shins
Some of us who experience fibromyalgia and/or other forms of chronic illness tend to bruise easily. We may walk around with giant indicators of pain. What do your shins look like?
Bruises are indicators of pain,
feeling tender, and a
need for protection.
But what do you need protection from? Many of us have bruises that we’re not even aware of how they came to be. A few weeks ago, I had a giant bruise on my upper arm with three distinct horizontal lines of impact. I could have made the argument that I was violently grabbed and shaken by someone with very large fingers.
I could. But I didn’t. Because that never happened.
I have no idea what did.
It was a long-lasting bruise, which begs the following question. How could something so deep as to traumatize my skin tissues happen without my knowledge?
I bet you’ve had this happen, too. Bruises on the legs and arms are displays of our vulnerability. We can look at physical issues such as nutritional deficiencies (Vitamins C and K and iron), medication side effects (aspirin, steroids, etc.), sun damage, and aging for example.
But what if we could physically display bruises from things that hurt us emotionally? What if our internal wounds were displayed externally?
Now, THAT would be interesting.
Bruises and Your Soul
Tell me if you’ve heard these before.
- You’re such a loser!
- You’ll never accomplish anything because you’re a quitter.
- You don’t belong or fit in with your crowd. They’re just being nice to include you.
- You’re never going to get well because you don’t have what it takes.
- Your body is embarrassing.
- Blah, blah, blah (fill in the rest)
Imagine if you heard these things, and more, from a best friend. Someone by your side. Imagine these words repeated constantly. Would you stick around for long? That wouldn’t be a best friend; that would be a Worst Friend.
Unfortunately, most of us hear these comments all the time. Or worse ones. We hear them day in and day out – in our own heads. WE are our own Worst Friends.
How do you know if you have a “Worst Friend” in your head?
When you feel encouraged about something new, how long does it last? What does that voice tell you about keeping your hopes up?
When you fall off of your newest food plan and overeat, what does your inner voice tell you?
And, the biggest way to know if you have a Worst Friend in your head is:
Bruises that Delay (or Kill) Results
Do you already have everything you want? I’m not talking about a perfect world as there’s no such thing. But, do you have the ideal health that you desire? Are you happy with your body, your environment, and your potential for growth?
If not, then there’s definitely a Worst Friend living in your head.
You may or may not even be aware of his or her presence. But, if you’re not living the life of your dreams, then you’re suffering from the bruises caused by unhelpful words.
When I work with clients to create a shift in their thinking, they often say, “But if I don’t hold my feet to the fire, who will?”
What they’re saying is that they believe that inner voice that’s critical, caustic, controlling, and downright mean is somehow beneficial. That because they’re now grown up, they need to continue with that harsh inner chatter in order to keep themselves in line.
But I then ask them, this.
If what you’re already doing is necessary, and if it works, then you’d have the results you’re looking for. Um, right?
I realize that may hurt. But, we can’t be mean and shame our way into action. It simply doesn’t work.Stop the #Fibromyalgia Word bruises - right NOW! Click To Tweet
Stop the Word Bruises Right Now
It takes time, practice, and guidance to shift your inner dialogue. It’s not a “go it alone” kinda thing.
What I hope this article does for you is to post a stop sign in your mind. I want to stir things up. It’s time to stop the madness. Stop the inner flagellation. Stop beating yourself up for perceived (and unrealistic) imperfections or shortcomings.
That’s the first step.
After that, it’s up to you to move forward. Get the support you need. Stop getting in the way of your own success.
If you’d like a better idea of what a path to success might look like for you, chat with me here. Schedule an opportunity to discuss your plans with me and get clear on what you really want.
Or, simply reply to this post or email and start up a conversation.
Take the action necessary to get the help you need.
After all, do you still want your Worst Friend calling the shots next week, next month, or next year?
If you get any message today, I hope it’s this:
Stop what’s not working in your life, and go after what is.
As always, I’m here to help.