Have you ever gone to an event where you know no one?
If you’re a Chatty Cathy like me, it doesn’t take long before you gravitate toward someone for no apparent reason. If you think about it though, you’ll notice that you were drawn for something as simple as liking her shoes or that she made eye contact with you. Perhaps you have something else in common? Maybe you find an expression on her face familiar – pain, fatigue, stress, etc. Whatever it is, you’re drawn together like bees to blossoms.
If you’re not the Chatty Cathy type, then you may be on the receiving end of this selection process. Either way, you still are in charge of who your friends will be.
How we “buddy up” is an interesting subject (we GET to choose our friends and DON’T GET to choose our family). We typically select those who complement our own personalities or are diametrically opposed — two peas in a pod or Mutt & Jeff.
When it comes to finding the right ying to your yang think about what you’re looking for. What about the friends you choose to support you in making healthy lifestyle changes? Take a true look at your buddies. Do they encourage you to stick with it, make progress, find improvements? Or are they the type to buy you a pound of See’s Chocolate and say, “I’m here for you, Hon. Salads are no fun. Have another nougat.” You can think of that as friendship if you like, but at least acknowledge it for what it truly is: sabotage. It doesn’t matter if you’ve sabotaged your goals yourself or done so by proxy … through a friend.
Never underestimate the value of friendships. When it comes to reaching your goals, being able to share your frustrations and successes is a vital part of the journey. And, another great thing about friendships is that you can never have too many! Some stick with you through thick and thin (literally!). Others are there for a time. Friends can help you divide your sorrows, assist in making career choices, help with your kids, take you shopping for that “just right” swim suit, or pitch in and help you pack for a move.
Your friends get to play a role in your life,
and YOU get to hand out the scripts.
When looking for friends to support your healthy lifestyle choices, choose wisely. Take stock. Take your time. Take heart. Then – take charge and buddy up!
Great story Sue, delighted to meet you on Twitter. I never thought about the “why” on who I’m attracted to at events. It is really a deep way to look at it because it’s true. I gravitate to some and avoid others, bit until unread this article, I never paid attention to the reasoning besides obvious ones like a woman that I find attractive.
I also like the sabotage scenario. My wife has received a gift from a friend of something she loves yet is not on her diet. It’s important to be mindful of what is important to our friends so we can help them feel better.
I am working on remembering names as everyone loves to feel important enough that a new acquaintance remembers our name. So when you buddy up, be sure to remember the persons name and the friendship will build super fast.
Thanks, Clay for the thoughtful comment! Being mindful is always important and it’s just a good idea to think about our own motives that are behind our choices. Great to connect with you!
I am in a little support group on Facebook. Started out because of Farmville and ended up that several of us have so much in common it was impossible not to become fast friends. We are there for each other day and night to share laughs and tears and give gentle hugs and prayers. Personally I think there was some “Divine” intervention. People come and go from our little group, but those of us that stay are there because we lift each other up. Some of us have met in person, others talk on the phone. These women hold me accountable for taking charge of my health and I do the same for them!
Kim — what a lovely thing to happen and from a facebook game of all things! You’re right, Divine intervention at work. So glad you have each other and TRUE friendship can work wonders for each other!
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