November 20


No, I Won’t Do It!

By Sue Ingebretson

November 20, 2012

ah-ha moments, arthritis, cancer, chronci illness, chronic wellness, diabetes, fibromyalgia, Healing, Lyme, self-discovery


I absolutely love working with clients. I’m passionate about helping them to lead healthier, happier, and more fulfilled lives. Our work together includes a wonderful exploration process where I’m privileged to delve into their “wants,” their “needs,” and especially – their “then, why haven’t you got that already?” beliefs.

Together, we create a plan that’s workable, doable, and accountable. But here’s one thing I won’t do.

I won’t give them what they ask for the most!

Invariably, during the discovery process of working with new clients, I’ll hear something similar to this: “I just want to be who I was before _____________ (fill in the blank with fibromyalgia, arthritis, Lyme disease, various autoimmune conditions, diabetes, cancer, etc.).

That’s just crazy talk! Do they really want to go back to being the VERY SAME person who ran herself/himself ragged and then got sick?

Here’s where that request goes awry. If I were to magically re-instate my clients to exactly who they were before they became ill, I’d be placing them at the starting gate to sickness. The co-factors that created the illness in the first place would still exist. Their worries, concerns, anxieties, and toxic thoughts would still exist. Their nutritional deficiencies and poor self-care habits would still exist. You get the picture.

It would just be a matter of time before something happened to start the whole ball of chronic illness rolling again. And, who wants that?

Instead, I respond, “Let’s NOT get you back to who you were before, but rather …

Let’s get you to a new and improved version of you – a YOU-2.0!

So, how long does that take? It typically takes time to get sick and it takes time to get well. I can only say (with personal experience) that the intentional climb to wellness is far more worthwhile than the out-of-control fall to chronic illness.

After I make this point in a session, it gets very quiet in my office. Like crickets chirping in the background quiet. But, soon enough, I can see the dawn of understanding spread over their faces. And, that’s my favorite part. That’s when healing truly begins!

Have you ever had a “healing ah-ha moment?” Share it below!

  1. I have Fibromyalgia and after 8 years of laying around feeling sorry for myself and not figuring out how to make this work….. I have a good day and I push so hard I am down for several days. I still haven’t learned how to pace myself. My husband doesn’t understand my invisable illness to the point that we may end up divorced after nearly 20 years together. The worst part is the family farms that we own will have to be sold and I am doing alot of self blaming, like what is your problem, get off your lazy butt and get busy, etcc… I have even attempted suicide several times this summer but, with counseling I am slowly getting my self worth back. It won’t change how I wallowed in self pity for so long but, I am trying to be accountable to myself everyday now.

    1. Sheri — thanks so much for sharing your poignant and personal story. I’m glad you’re getting into a better place where you’re not so hard on yourself. Self-blame and chastisement never works. Can you think of a time, in particular, where you had an “ah-ha moment” and decided to move forward in your own health journey?

  2. For the last few years, I’ve been suffering from debilitating migraines caused (my neurologist and I believe) by vitamin D deficiency. It’s been very difficult and painful and I’ve made a lot of sacrifices to recover, but I’ve also learned so much about myself and about my friends and family during this process that I wouldn’t want to go back to who I was before. Who I was before had his priorities out of order. Who I am now has some problems too, but we’re working on that and it’s who I’m going to become that excites me.

  3. I agree 100% with you. It’s about moving forward to a healthy lifestyle not going backwards to the lifestyle that made you sick to begin with. Right now I’m in a stand still because 1 I need to move out if this toxic environment. It’s not helping me at all. 2 I need a psychologist, I can’t find a good one here and I will not meet with another therapist and waste my fathers money and my time. I have too many issues for them to handle (yes, I’m a trainwreck) . I just really need someone educated to know the mind body connection and how to bring suppressed pain to the surface to deal with it. I have no idea how to do this myself nor do I know where in the heck all that pain went to even begin to try to grab some issues to deal with them. When I finally release /deal/work things out; I’ll finally be able to get FULLY well.

  4. Thanks for the comment, Amy! It sounds like you’re further along than you probably think you are. You’re aware that your environment is toxic to you and that you need to make some changes. Working with someone who can help you along the way is a powerful method to make change. Have you ever looked into EFT and coaches/counselors who use this helpful treatment? You may find great progress with it and let me know if you have any more questions.

    1. Yes, I’ve heard of it . Tapping right? What kind of health professional is knowledgeable about it or would offer this kind of treatment? I checked with an acupuncturist, but she didn’t offer it.

      1. Yes – it’s tapping. It’s very effective for moving through emotional issues fast (and once and for all). I can suggest several websites and/or practitioners including myself 😉

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"True Healing requires a combination of healthy nutrition, healthy body movements, and emotional wellness. This is what I call the Restoration Trio" ~ Sue Ingebretson